Puddin' or Baby
by filmgurl2008
Summary: Harley finds out she's pregnant and the Joker is happy but is it really what she wants? Just a quick short pointless fic. Joker X Harley.


No freakin' way. Harley couldn't believe her eyes. This was what she wanted. She had wanted it for as long as she could remember. But now was the test.

She walked into the main room of the loft; they had the entire block of new apartments, after bribing the building supervisor –or had they killed him? She couldn't remember. Either way the building was theirs for now, and had been for the last month. They had been running and hiding for almost six months, since Mistah J had broken her out of that damn cell.

Harley looked at her puddin'; he was setting out his knifes. She smiled. He was hers and she was his. . .but now they had something to add to that. "Puddin',"

"Hmm," The Joker mumbled as he set down one of the knives.

"I got somethin' t' tell ya." She stepped closer, her smile widening as he turned around.

"And what is-," He stopped mid-sentence as he saw the stick in her hand. "It that-? Are you really-?"

Harley's smile turned into a grin. "'ve never seen ya speechless before puddin'." He moved closer to her, tilting his head in a questioning manner with a lightly amused smile. "Yeah, we're having a baby puddin'!"

It was rare but she loved it when Mistah J gave her a real genuine smile –at least, it was the closest smile to genuine she had ever gotten from him. He grabbed hold of her face and pulled it to his, their lips crashing together passionately. He pulled away, letting out a satisfied groan before slowly touching her stomach.

"Our little bundle of madness." He said and she smiled, chuckling happily. "Daddy and Mommy are gonna have an empire for you,"

Wait.

He let go of her stomach and turned back to the table, looking over the knives. "We're gonna need to get hold of a doctor, do we take one and keep her with us to look after you both? Or threaten one to get in and out of a hospital? Hmm, decisions, decisions."

No.

"Then o' course we' gonna need people to protect you both while I'm out running terror through our city. How do you like Terror for a name?"

No.

"He'll know how to shoot by the time he's three,"

No. This. . .this wasn't what she wanted.

Harley placed her hands onto her flat stomach; she knew it was impossible but it was as if she could feel the baby. She wanted a baby and her puddin'. . .but not like this. She closed her eyes and remembered the vision the Enchantress had shown her all those months ago. Now that was what she wanted: a normal life with him and their children. When had she started wanting normal? She had never cared about the craziness that had come with been with Mistah J, in fact she enjoyed it, but now? She didn't want it, not for their baby. She wasn't a total monster, how could she do that to a child?

"P-puddin', so. . .we're still goin' t' do. . .what it is we do?" She watched as his shoulders rose and fell with his laughter.

"Of course, darlin', we're just gonna need to. . . _persuade_ a few people to help us for a while."

"Yeah," Harley breathed out. She ran a hand over her head, turning slightly as if to leave the room. . .but that's when she saw it laid on the table. She swallowed thickly. She had no choice. No choice.

How could she have been so stupid to believe she would get everything she wanted? She had been so happy only minutes ago and it had been snatched away so easily. . .and she thought they would live happily ever after. Gee, she really was stupid.

Licking her lips, nervously, she grabbed the gun closest to the edge of the table. Swallowing deeply, she turned back so her body was facing his direction but she was looking at the full length window, seeing his reflection in it. He was still messing with his knifes. She looked over every inch of him, making sure everything was memorised; from his green hair to his bright eyes to the cut of his jaw, his toned body, the way his fingers tapped his knives, the way one leg bent slightly as he stood still. She had to remember everything.

She closed her eyes as she said, "Ya know I love you, right puddin'?"

"Ha, ha, ha, of course I do, darlin', I love you too."

Tears sprang to her eyes. It was the first time he had ever said it. Her heart splintered. She lifted the gun, "'m sorry, puddin',", and shot, not missing her target. The Joker fell down, crashing onto the table.

The tears rolled down her face as she let out pained cries. Her heart broke.

XXXXXX

Months later Harley was in a bed in one of the many private hospitals on the out skirts of Cape May, New Jersey. She was smiling down at her little bundle of madness.

The door opened and her smile faded. She had asked him to come, and though she knew he would –out of duty-, she had sort of hoped he wouldn't show. She could see he was shocked as he looked over her. He had clearly expected it was going to be a lie or a trick, she realised as she noticed his hands were on the guns at his sides. "Hey Flag."

"So, err, what's with the hair?"

"What, don't cha like it?" She forced a smile, shaking her head a little to make the short bobbed black hair shuffle about a bit.

"It actually suits you." Rick told her. They both stayed silent for what felt like a life time before he spoke, "So why'd you call me?"

"Who else was I gonna call?" She looked down at the sleeping baby in her arms, partially hidden by the white bed cover. Tears filled her eyes before she looked back at him. "I don't have anyone else."

"What about your 'puddin''?"

She pushed the cover down so he could see the baby. "He had to. . .I had to get. . .he's not around anymore."

"Holy shit," He muttered and rubbed at his head. "You ran away with the Joker's kid? Don't you know he'll come after you?"

She shook her head, swallowing thickly. "He's not _here_ anymore." She could see her words sinking in.

"Oh," He sighed and sat down in the chair next to the bed. "I'm sorry, Harls, I know you loved him." He was sorry, he knew they were both criminals and crazy. . .but love was love.

Harley tightened her grip on the baby and nodded as tears rolled down her cheeks. "We, err, wanted different things for her."

Rick half smiled at her, it was a sad smile. "It's a girl huh?"

"Y-yeah, ain't she a cutie?" She shifted her position slightly so he could see her better. She smiled when he nodded and smiled. Things went quiet again.

"What am I here for? I know you didn't call me just to see your kid."

She snuffled and wiped at her eyes with one hand. "Ah 'd almost forgot about that. I need you to take her somewhere safe."

"Wait, what?"

"I'll get recognised sooner or later, an' I don't want her messed up in that. I wan' her t' live a normal, happy life. She couldn't have that with me and pud-. . .and she can't have it wit' just me either. But you can take her t' someone who can give her that, and love her more than an'thin' else."

"Harls, I don't know. I-,"

"Please," She begged. "take her somewhere safe, and I'll go back quietly t' that damn cell and do whatever that bitch wants me to. Just help me. Help her. Please."

Rick rubbed at his head again; what the hell was he meant to do? He wasn't meant to be here to help Harley. . .he was meant to be taking her back to her special cell. Though she had said she'd go quietly if he helped. And Harley had helped him to save June. "Damn it, fine. I'll take her somewhere safe-,"

"And you can't tell them who her parents are; they won't want her if they know." She watched him nod. "And no one else but us can know."

"Don't worry, no one will know."

"Thankyou," She said sadly and smiled down at the baby. "Oh, and her name Leena. With two E's."

"Erm, okay, why Leena though?"

"Not even I knew pud-puddin's real name, and I can't call her my name because it'll be easier to link her to me. . .so Leena is the closest thing to Harleen I can think of without been obvious."

He stared at her for a moment before laughing. "That's such a craz-err, special way of thinking. June was trying to do something similar with our names for-," He stopped himself as soon as he realised what he had said.

Harley smiled softly. "You're having a baby?"

"No, we, err, wanted one but it. . .it turns out we can't so. . ."

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too."

She looked down at the baby. "She's so good." Tears started to well up in her eyes again. "I guess you should take her now, have to get me back there asap right?"

Rick stared at her for a moment then glanced at the baby, before leaning back in the chair and pulling his cap down to cover his eyes. "Nah, I drove here so I could do with resting for a while. Maybe even a couple of days."

Harley's shocked expression quickly turned into a teary grin. "Thanks, Flag." She cuddled her baby closer, wanting to enjoy the little time she had.

"Uh-huh," He mumbled, a slight smile taking over his lips.

* * *

Thanks for reading!

I love the theory that the Joker wants kids just like Harley does (when he's laid with his weapons around him there's baby grows too)

I know this isn't brilliant and I've not had chance to read through it as much as I would normally, but hopefully it's not too bad.


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